Richard's Rules Of The Road

  1.    Museum Gift Shop                                 

With a nod to Ben Franklin  

1 No matter what you think will happen, something completely different may occur

2 Rule number one is always rule number one. 
        All of the other rules are in no particular order of importance

3 Always look up


(A.B. Stebbins. Eclipse Camera. 1875)

4 Always look down

5 "The only constant in life is change"  (Heraclitus)

6 We're going out at  the time we usually come back

7 Always make sure that they have the right number

8 Always have a backup number

9 Everything is political

                               (Teddy Roosevelt At A Political Rally)

10 Everything is for sale

11 Everything is what it is

12 Spilled coffee in a telephone can lead to erroneous assumptions

13 Always Ask.  You have nothing to lose

14 Always make a counter offer

15 Always carry a loop

(Examining the world's most beautiful butterfly)

16 If you haven't seen it in person, bid cautiously

17 "The answer is maybe, and that's final."  Doris Duke (n. 1)

18 Sometimes there's just nothing much to say

19 Don't throw A brick In The Air, It May Land On Your head

20 It's Saturday on the wall, but it's Sunday in the world

21 When a deal is in the works, don't confuse the issue by adding a new item into the mix

22 They don't have to like us, They just don't have to spit in our soup

23 Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't

24 You can never tell what will sell or when

25 Don't give out free advice or information.  It won't be appreciated

26 Always pick up the free stuff on the way in.  It won't be there on the way out

27 Keep yourself out of the hands of





    and the IRS

28 It's later than earlier and earlier then it will be later

29 Always let the auction run to its conclusion

30 Never assume that someone doesn't have the same information as you do

31 It gets harder and harder to think of the next rule

32 Always look at the label

33 If you don't write it down right away, you can forget about it

34 Always make sure it's plugged in

35 Once something is in play, the price always goes up

36 Chuck has a million 500 thousand dollars and 7 pictures. 
         I have a million 500 thousand pictures and $7.00.

37 Never put a resale price on something until you actually see it

38 Always follow up

39 The group will sell for exactly the same price, with or without the one picture that you like

40 A banana just isn't a pretzel

41 Always call first

42 Never give away a Strand bag

43 The Higher you bid, the more valuable the piece becomes, especially if you win it

44 Jobs:  They pay you;  Fun:   You pay them

45 "Watch the costs and the profits take care of themselves."  (Andrew Carnegie)

46 Follow every lead

47 Always make a plan

48 Allentown is the last service plaza

49 A lot of things are like a lot of things, they're just different things

50 The other guy is always the damn MF

51 The winner never wants a recount

                                                                         (Joe Louis 1935)

52 Always look very carefully at the price

53 Always look very carefully at the print size

54 It's easier to bill than to fix

55 If you want to drive the herring salesman crazy. Take the first one

56 Coming home is faster than going

57 You don't have to go to the Hotel Sacher to get a sachertorte

58 The more stuff that's out there, the better the chances that something will sell

59 As soon as you've washed  your car either it will rain or the birds will find it

60 Sell the stuff you want to sell, not the stuff you don't want to sell

61 Everybody wants the stuff you don't want to sell

62 The roofer's guarantee:  If the sun is shining, the roof  definitely won't leak

63 Stairs is stairs,  steps is steps and stairs is steps

                                     (Wells Cathedral)

64 Always double check the check

65 The longer I sit here, the later it gets

                            (1 /4 Plate Tintype)

66 Sometimes it's not even worth three dollars

67 If the roller stops spinning, it may just be the belt that's broken

68 Never eat Indian food when you're on the road

(Indian Restaurant Canada)

69 The tow truck is the great equalizer

70 Twisted as a shabbat challah

71 Never turn your back on a bull


72 See if there's a side B on the disk.  Turn the disk over


73 Even after you see the end, it still may not make sense

74 When in doubt, spend

75 There was only one wolf

76 There was no minority report

77 Always read the large print

78 Always read the  small print

79 Power is power

80 If they want to get you, they will

81 All of life is politics

82 The mail box is always on the other side of the street

83 Always get it in writing

84 Sometimes you have to decide between cream puffs and chocolate eclairs

85 Do you have any twos?  Go fish

86 Things are always different when they're not the same

87 Sometimes when you look at a horse, you see a car



88 If you have this, you always want that

89 It's not just business, it's always personal

90 Keep all of your operating manuals in one place.  Remember where that place is

91 Like bread crumbs to a chicken cutlet

92 "Two reasons you should never wrestle with a pig…
        you get muddy and the pig enjoys it."
        H. Kennedy, Original Color. p.268

                                                            (The Crazy Pig)

93 Life causes flatulence

                                                       ( J.B. Rich. Cows)

94 Ride your own ride

95 It always is what it is

96    Don't ever hang anyone out to dry

97 "Bigger isn't always better.  It's just harder to park." (2012 Fiat advertisement)

98    Sometimes bigger really is better

                                                      or perhaps not

                                                 ( The Spruce Goose )

99    Any change in the equation alters  the whole equation

100 Always have paper and pen at hand

101 The harder you work, the more money you make (Chuck)



102  Don't always put in your 2 cents. 
        Sometimes it's better to keep it in your pocket

103  Heat is heat

104  I do it for the money


                     (Philippe Halsman. "Dali"s Moustache")

105  Something unexpected can happen unexpectedly

106  Beauty fades, dumb is forever (Judge Judy)


 (Hedy Lamarr. Both beautiful and smart.
Hurrell photograph)

107  Small is the new big



108  Try not to buy something with just one customer in mind

109  STFT (Janet)

110  There's always another deal

111  Pick a direction


(jimmy Hare)

113  If you don't fix it now, it will get worse
        and cost a lot more to repair

114  Sometimes accidents do happen  


                                   ( Jaguar Wreck)

115  The last straw is the straw that broke the camel's back 


(Kairo. Bedouin)

116 Don't think dollars when you should be thinking pounds

117 Always double check the size and the price

118 Things seen out of context may appear more valuable than            they actually are

119 Don't do anything significant when you're tired


120 If it doesn't sell it simply becomes part of your collection

121 Don't think inches when you should be thinking centimeters

122 Some things aren't worth what they used to be
        because of the internet

123 Some things are much more common
        than we thought they were

124 The internet has changed everything

125 If you follow a thread, you just might find something                          interesting or valuable

126 Sometimes a photograph can make something look bigger              than it actually is

(Gem Tintype 3/4 inch x 1/2 inch))

127 Sometimes a photograph can make something look smaller            than it actually is


(24 inches long)

128 You don't have to run faster than the bear.  You just have to run faster than your companion.


129 How do they get the chocholate to stay on the Raisinets.

130 Never make the first offer


                                                     (Making A Bargain)

131 If You pull on a thread, the whole thing may unravel

132 If you want to be sure that it's done, do it yourself

133 Always carefully read over what you've written before posting it

134 The can of coffee is the same size but what's inside is less than it used to be

135 Always double check the expiration date

136 If the government wants to get you, it will get you

137 Always keep a kicker


138 Some go up. 

138A  Some go down.


139 "No matter how good you are to a goat, it will still eat your yam,"Nigerian Proverb (THE ORACLE, Cussler & Burcell)

(M. Glossner. Goat)

140 "Ears that do not listen to advice accompany the head when it is chopped off" African Proverb(THE ORACLE)

141 "A happy man marries the girl he loves, but a happier man loves the girl he  marries." African Proverb (THE ORACLE)


142  Sometimes you get the alligator.  


143  Sometimes the alligator gets you

144 "A man without hand is not a man. I've got so much hand  I'm coming out of my gloves." (George Costanza)


145 "We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get." (Jerry Seinfeld)


146 Never bring a knife to a gun fight or a card  game. ( Sean Connery, "The  Untouchables.")

147 Stick with what you know

148 "…never waste time over a deal which is at all possible."
        ( Joseph Henry Duveen. "Secrets Of An Art Dealer" p. 255)

149 "We don't know what we don't know. "Steve Doocy

150 Always check your SPELING

151 Never pee into the Amazon

152 When you have the ignorance of censorship, what can you expect but ignorant censors

153 "Crooks are still crooks…


and lawyers are still lawyers."  
( William J. Burns. P.197 "Incredible Detective" by Gene Caesar)

154 The best merchandise is easy to schlep and easy to ship

155 Good Follow-up equals good business
156 Even when you bother to read the small print, you still might not get it right
157 Free doesn't always mean free
158 If you can't find it, you can't sell it
159 Keep in touch to make the sale
160 Buy two. Sell one
161 Life is the time you spend before you die(Janet)
162 Everything comes to him who waits-provided he lives long enough. (E. Wagenknect. "The Movies In The Age Of Innocence")


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