Richard's Rules Of The Road

1.      Museum Gift Shop                                 

1 No matter what you think will happen, something completely different may occur

2 Rule number one is always rule number one.  All of the other rules are in no particular order of importance

3 Always look up

4 Always look down

5 Never make the first offer

6 We're going out at  the time we usually come back

7 Always make sure that they have the right number

8 Always have a backup number

9 Everything is political

                               (Teddy Roosevelt At A Political Rally)

10 Everything is for sale

11 Everything is what it is

12 Spilled coffee in a telephone can lead to erroneous assumptions

13 Always Ask.  You have nothing to lose

14 Always make a counter offer

15 Always carry a loop

(Examining the world's most beautiful butterfly)

16 If you haven't seen it in person, bid cautiously

17 "The answer is maybe, and that's final."  Doris Duke (n. 1)

18 Sometimes there's just nothing much to say

19 Don't throw A brick In The Air, It May Land On Your head

20 It's Saturday on the wall, but it's Sunday in the world

21 When a deal is in the works, don't confuse the issue by adding a new item into the mix

22 They don't have to like us, They just don't have to spit in our soup

23 Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't

24 You can never tell what will sell or when

25 Don't give out free advice or information.  It won't be appreciated

26 Always pick up the free stuff on the way in.  It won't be there on the way out

27 Keep yourself out of the hands of

    lawyers,   

    dentists,

    doctors,

    and the IRS

28 It's later than earlier and earlier then it will be later

29 Always let the auction run to its conclusion

30 Never assume that someone doesn't have the same information as you do

31 It gets harder and harder to think of the next rule

32 Always look at the label

33 If you don't write it down right away, you can forget about it

34 Always make sure it's plugged in

35 Once something is in play, the price always goes up

36 Chuck has a million 500 thousand dollars and 7 pictures.  I have a million 500 thousand pictures and $7.00.

37 Never put a resale price on something until you actually see it

38 Always follow up

39 The group will sell for exactly the same price, with or without the one picture that you like

40 A banana just isn't a pretzel

41 Always call first

42 Never give away a Strand bag

43 The Higher you bid, the more valuable the piece becomes, especially if you win it

44 Jobs:  They pay you;  Fun:   You pay them

45 "Watch the costs and the profits take care of themselves."  (Andrew Carnegie)

46 Follow every lead

47 Always make a plan

48 Allentown is the last service plaza

49 A lot of things are like a lot of things, they're just different things

50 The other guy is always the damn MF

51 The winner never wants a recount

                                                                         (Joe Louis 1935)

52 Always look very carefully at the price

53 Always look very carefully at the print size

54 It's easier to bill than to fix

55 If you want to drive the herring salesman crazy. Take the first one

56 Coming home is faster than going

57 You don't have to go to the Hotel Sacher to get a sachertorte

58 The more stuff that's out there, the better the chances that something will sell

59 As soon as you've washed  your car either it will rain or the birds will find it

60 Sell the stuff you want to sell, not the stuff you don't want to sell

61 Everybody wants the stuff you don't want to sell

62 The roofer's guarantee:  If the sun is shining, the roof  definitely won't leak

63 Stairs is stairs,  steps is steps and stairs is steps

                                     (Wells Cathedral)

64 Always double check the check

65 The longer I sit here, the later it gets

                            (1 /4 Plate Tintype)

66 Sometimes it's not even worth three dollars

67 If the roller stops spinning, it may just be the belt that's broken

68 Never eat Indian food when you're on the road

69 The tow truck is the great equalizer

70 Twisted as a shabbat challah

71 Never turn your back on a bull

                                                            (Cuccioni)  

72 See if there's a side B on the disk.  Turn the disk over

                                                        (Cuccioni)

73 Even after you see the end, it still may not make sense

74 When in doubt, spend

75 There was only one wolf

76 There was no minority report

77 Always read the large print

78 Always read the  small print

79 Power is power

80 If they want to get you, they will

81 All of life is politics

82 The mail box is always on the other side of the street

83 Always get it in writing

84 Sometimes you have to decide between cream puffs and chocolate eclairs

85 Do you have any twos?  Go fish

86 Things are always different when they're not the same

87 Sometimes when you look at a horse, you see a car

88 If you have this, you always want that

89 It's always personal

90 Keep all of your operating manuals in one place.  Remember where that place is

91 Like bread crumbs to a chicken cutlet

92 "Two reasons you should never wrestle with a pig…you get muddy and the pig enjoys it." H. Kennedy, Original Color. p.268

                                                            (The Crazy Pig)

93 Life causes flatulence

                                                       ( J.B. Rich. Cows)

94 Ride your own ride

95 It always is what it is

97 "Bigger isn't always better.  It's just harder to park." (2012 Fiat advertisement)

98    Sometimes bigger really is better

                                                      or perhaps not

                                                 ( The Spruce Goose )

99    Any change in the equation alters  the whole equation

100 Always have paper and pen at hand

101 The harder you work, the more money you make (Chuck)