Richard's Rules Of The Road
With a nod to Ben Franklin 
1 No matter what you think will happen, something completely different may occur
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2 Rule number one is always rule number one. All of the other rules are in no particular order of importance
3 Always look up
4 Always look down
5 "The only constant in life is change" (Heraclitus)
6 We're going out at the time we usually come back
7 Always make sure that they have the right number
8 Always have a backup number
9 Everything is political
(Teddy Roosevelt At A Political Rally)
10 Everything is for sale
11 Everything is what it is
12 Spilled coffee in a telephone can lead to erroneous assumptions
13 Always Ask. You have nothing to lose
14 Always make a counter offer
15 Always carry a loop
(Examining the world's most beautiful butterfly)
16 If you haven't seen it in person, bid cautiously
17 "The answer is maybe, and that's final." Doris Duke (n. 1)
18 Sometimes there's just nothing much to say
19 Don't throw A brick In The Air, It May Land On Your head
20 It's Saturday on the wall, but it's Sunday in the world
21 When a deal is in the works, don't confuse the issue by adding a new item into the mix
22 They don't have to like us, They just don't have to spit in our soup
23 Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't
24 You can never tell what will sell or when
25 Don't give out free advice or information. It won't be appreciated
26 Always pick up the free stuff on the way in. It won't be there on the way out
27 Keep yourself out of the hands of
lawyers,
dentists,
doctors,
and the IRS
28 It's later than earlier and earlier then it will be later
29 Always let the auction run to its conclusion
30 Never assume that someone doesn't have the same information as you do
31 It gets harder and harder to think of the next rule
32 Always look at the label
33 If you don't write it down right away, you can forget about it
34 Always make sure it's plugged in
35 Once something is in play, the price always goes up
36 Chuck has a million 500 thousand dollars and 7 pictures. I have a million 500 thousand pictures and $7.00.
37 Never put a resale price on something until you actually see it
38 Always follow up
39 The group will sell for exactly the same price, with or without the one picture that you like
40 A banana just isn't a pretzel
41 Always call first
42 Never give away a Strand bag
43 The Higher you bid, the more valuable the piece becomes, especially if you win it
44 Jobs: They pay you; Fun: You pay them
45 "Watch the costs and the profits take care of themselves." (Andrew Carnegie)
46 Follow every lead
47 Always make a plan
48 Allentown is the last service plaza
49 A lot of things are like a lot of things, they're just different things
50 The other guy is always the damn MF
51 The winner never wants a recount
(Joe Louis 1935)
52 Always look very carefully at the price
53 Always look very carefully at the print size
54 It's easier to bill than to fix
55 If you want to drive the herring salesman crazy. Take the first one
56 Coming home is faster than going
57 You don't have to go to the Hotel Sacher to get a sachertorte
58 The more stuff that's out there, the better the chances that something will sell
59 As soon as you've washed your car either it will rain or the birds will find it
60 Sell the stuff you want to sell, not the stuff you don't want to sell
61 Everybody wants the stuff you don't want to sell
62 The roofer's guarantee: If the sun is shining, the roof definitely won't leak
63 Stairs is stairs, steps is steps and stairs is steps
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(Wells Cathedral)
64 Always double check the check
65 The longer I sit here, the later it gets
(1 /4 Plate Tintype)
66 Sometimes it's not even worth three dollars
67 If the roller stops spinning, it may just be the belt that's broken
68 Never eat Indian food when you're on the road
(Indian Restaurant Canada)
69 The tow truck is the great equalizer
70 Twisted as a shabbat challah
71 Never turn your back on a bull
(Cuccioni)
72 See if there's a side B on the disk. Turn the disk over
(Cuccioni)
73 Even after you see the end, it still may not make sense
74 When in doubt, spend
75 There was only one wolf
76 There was no minority report
77 Always read the large print
78 Always read the small print
79 Power is power
80 If they want to get you, they will
81 All of life is politics
82 The mail box is always on the other side of the street
83 Always get it in writing
84 Sometimes you have to decide between cream puffs and chocolate eclairs
85 Do you have any twos? Go fish
86 Things are always different when they're not the same
87 Sometimes when you look at a horse, you see a car
88 If you have this, you always want that
89 It's not just business, it's always personal
90 Keep all of your operating manuals in one place. Remember where that place is
91 Like bread crumbs to a chicken cutlet
92 "Two reasons you should never wrestle with a pig…you get muddy and the pig enjoys it." H. Kennedy, Original Color. p.268
(The Crazy Pig)
93 Life causes flatulence
( J.B. Rich. Cows)
94 Ride your own ride
95 It always is what it is
97 "Bigger isn't always better. It's just harder to park." (2012 Fiat advertisement)
98 Sometimes bigger really is better
or perhaps not
( The Spruce Goose )
99 Any change in the equation alters the whole equation
100 Always have paper and pen at hand
101 The harder you work, the more money you make (Chuck)
102 Don't always put in your 2 cents. Sometimes it's better to keep it in your pocket | |
103 Heat is heat 104 I do it for the money
(Philippe Halsman. "Dali"s Moustache") 105 Something unexpected can happen unexpectedly 106 Beauty fades, dumb is forever (Judge Judy)
(Hedy Lamarr. Both beautiful and smart. Hurrell photograph) 107 Small is the new big
(Cyclops) 108 Try not to buy something with just one customer in mind 109 STFT (Janet) 110 There's always another deal 111 Pick a direction
(jimmy Hare) 113 If you don't fix it now, it will get worse and cost a lot more to repair 114 Sometimes accidents do happen
( Jaguar Wreck) 115 The last straw is the straw that broke the camel's back
(Kairo. Bedouin) 116 Don't think dollars when you should be thinking pounds 117 Always double check the size and the price 118 Things seen out of context may appear more valuable than they actually are 119 Don't do anything significant when you're tired
120 If it doesn't sell it simply becomes part of your collection 121 Don't think inches when you should be thinking centimeters 122 Some things aren't worth what they used to be becaues of the internet 123 Some things are much more common than we thought they were 124 The internet has changed everything 125 If you follow a thread, you just might find something interesting or valuable 126 Sometimes a photograph can make something look bigger than it actually is
(Gem Tintype 3/4 inch x 1/2 inch)) 127 Sometimes a photograph can make something look snaller than it actually is
(24 inches long) 128 You don't have to run faster than the bear. You just have to run faster than your companion.
129 How do they get the chocholate to stay on the Raisinets. 130 Never make the first offer
(Making A Bargain) 131 If You pull on a thread, the whole thing may unravel 132 If you want to be sure that it's done, do it yourself 133 Always carefully read over what you've written before posting it 134 The can of coffee is the same size but what's inside is less than it used to be 135 Always double check the expiration date 136 If the government wants to get you, it will get you 137 Always keep a kicker
138 Some go up.
138A Some go down.
139 "No matter how good you are to a goat, it will still eat your yam,"Nigerian Proverb (THE ORACLE, Cussler & Burcell)
(M. Glossner. Goat) 140 "Ears that do not listen to advice accompany the head when it is chopped off" African Proverb(THE ORACLE) 141 "A happy man marries the girl he loves, but a happier man loves the girl he marries." African Proverb (THE ORACLE)
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Images from the museum collection are not available for sale